Instant Anxiety Attack

I just left Babies-R-Us and my head is spinning.  It seems like every expectant mother registers for the necessities there.  Why wouldn't you?  They carry everything you could possibly ever need to raise a child, except a partner of course.  And they have prime parking spaces marked with a cute little stork for Mom's to Be.  This will be easy right?

Wrong.  Just walking through their double doors is overwhelming to me and I have a small child.  I can't even imagine how it feels to a baby virgin.  You are immediately bombarded by boxes of 324 diapers (how many months will that last me?); 936 wipes (why can't they just match up hot dogs and buns?); racks and racks of clothes (should you really spend $29.99 on a newborn dress); and breast pumps, Diaper Genies, and video tracking devices monitors for your nursery.  There is so much stuff:  baby stuff, toddler stuff, travel stuff, bedding stuff, clothes, shoes, toys, food stuff, I could go on and on.

Did you know that there are strollers, joggers, travel systems, car seats, car seat bases, Snap and Go(s), Bundle Me(s), snack pods, stroller clips, and baby netting?  And that they are all interconnected and can be used together?  Did you know that there are pacifiers and Nuks and Soothies and teething rings and teething spoons and wipes to keep them all clean?  Not to mention wipe warmers, shopping cart protectors, end table bumpers, and a cup that keeps little guys from squirting you in the face as you are changing him.  Overwhelming!

Even more overwhelming are the aisles that do not follow numerically, the bedding that has been moved to the FAO Swartz display up front, and the items on the registry that are available in limited quantity.  That really means that they have been hidden away in an aisle of mish mash that does not have a number.  Just skip any stars on the registry and keep looking.

Registering for your shower...smart.  Retrieving items from said registry...add a bottle of Advil to your cart and immediately employ the help of the numerous associates that are walking the floor with you.  They are extremely helpful!  But maybe they wouldn't need so many if they just organized the store...

Summer Reading

I have actually finished four books this summer!  One I actually started before school ended but I am going to count it anyway.  Clearly I have more time on my hands since I am taking full advantage of that excellent teacher perk "summers off", and I have actually been staying up past my 10:00 bedtime.  It is summer you know.

The first three books were a trilogy:  The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl that Played with Fire, and The Girl that Kicked the Hornet's Nest.  They were awesome!  The series was written by a Swede named Steig Larson so there are many IKEA and ...gatan references.  I found it very helpful to disguise all of the Swedish places with American pseudonyms.  It just makes for smoother reading.  But there are also places that you will be very familiar with like McDonald's (who knew it was so popular in Sweden), Starbucks (coffee is loved globally), Stockholm, Paris, Australia, and Philadelphia, PA.  I highly recommend the books about a kick-ass computer hacker named Lisbeth Salander if you like suspense, murder, governmental corruption, and kinky sex references.  (No romance novel slush here!) 

It is even being made into a movie.  Well actually... it was already produced in Sweden but since I don't often get to their cinemas, it is being made into a new movie.  For the life of me though, I can't imagine anyone else playing Lisbeth but Angelina Jolie.  And I Hate her...

Last night I finished The Help.  It has been a really long time since I finished a book in four days and turned the last page with tears running down my cheeks.  The setting is 1960s Mississippi.  It chronicles the lives of three families and the African American women they employ as their help.  The white attitudes toward their darker peers will anger you.  The love the "maids", as they are called, have for the young white babies they raise will melt your heart.  The treatment that is shown to some of the characters by their spouses, employers and mothers will turn your stomach.  But most importantly the struggle for equality that plays out in each chapter will open your eyes to things we have never experienced here in upstate New York.  The Help will have you thinking about why color once made such a difference.  And asking yourself if it still does?

It was an amazing tale.  Even more amazing is the fact that the story is based loosely on the author's own childhood growing up with an African American maid and never realizing that she should have said thank you and joined her for a meal at the kitchen table.  It is powerful, poignant, and I can't wait to see the movie.  I just hope that Aibeleen chooses not to walk away from Mae Mobley at the end.  Or we will all be crying along with the toddler.

Mosquito

Can sometime please share with me the evolutionary, natural selective, ruin a perfectly relaxing summer night purpose of the mosquito?  We don't need them to pollinate our flowers.  They do not help to drop seeds for the next season.  Our meat would still rot without their disgusting spawn.  Why exactly are they here?  And how many can there possibly be in one backyard?

It seems that if you swat and get rid of one, two more come to take its place.  They are everywhere.  Buzzing in your ear, attacking your ankles, and leaving you scratching long after you have shut the door on their annoyance. 

Bug spray, not a deterrent.  A fire, no effect.  Standing still, dryer sheets, Avon Skin-So-Soft, so does not work.  Nothing does!  Until you break down and come inside.  Ugh...

BYOF

Every time I get invited to a BBQ I get excited.  I love cook out food, cold beverages, and hot sun (especially when there is a body of water nearby!).  I love when they start a little later so that we will still be drinking relaxing when it starts to get dark.  And that means that a fire pit will be crackling nearby and S'mores will be on the menu.  Just more evidence to support that fact that summer is by far the best season.  Sorry Fall Lovers.

The only dilemma?  What to bring!  Hmmm... 1.  Do you bring what you like?  2.  Do you bring the expected?  3.  Do you try something new?  4.  Will there be something that my husband, 1 year old, condiment phobic brother will eat?

1.  Sure!  Don't expect that someone else will bring the deviled eggs and dessert.  You can always suggest as much but there is no guarantee. So bring your favorite.  Others will thank you for it.
2.  Not necessarily.  The reason why people love your cucumber dip is because it is not readily available.  And no matter how many times you have given out the recipe it just doesn't taste the same when someone else makes it.  Luckily.
3.  If you are a gambler, go for it!  What's the worst that could happen?  It gets thrown out with the fly ridden burgers and congealed dip.  What the best?  You have a new 'expected' dish. 
4.  Everyone eats chips and cookies so slip some in your bag when you pick up your tasty beverage of choice and no one goes home hungry.

No matter what you bring your hostess will be appreciative.  Just make sure that you bring something.  Nobody wants to be that guy.  His next invite might some how never arrive.

Time Flies!

Hi Friends!  Sorry that I haven't been in touch for awhile.  It seems that the past two weeks have come and gone and I lost track of time.

Isn't it strange that time doesn't always pass at the same speed?  Like when you were a co-ed and sitting through a lecture on the curve of a hyperbole and its inverse function; every second passed in excruciating fashion.  Or when you were a kid sitting in the 5th pew (for 18 years) and  had already read the entire bulletin, all of the readings in the Missilette, and every stained glass window but somehow it still wasn't time for Communion yet.  We won't even touch on the fact that the month of June is the longest18 days of the school year.

Then there are times when it seems that the earth spins a bit faster and we can hardly remember how the minutes passed so quickly.  You are on the massage table and close your eyes only to hear the therapist say, "Take your time getting ready, and remember to hydrate."  Already? Or you are on the bumper cars at the amusement park and just when you are ready to really ram that annoying boy, out of juice.  Darn!  And we have all stepped off the plane in ecstatic anticipation of that island vacation when suddenly we having repacking our suitcase and enjoying our last mango for breakfast.  Say it isn't Friday already...

I can't believe how time flies. Somehow a year ago I gave birth to my daughter and in a nanosecond she started to smile, talk, crawl, hug, kiss, and take control of our house.  For the past two weeks we have been celebrating our little miracle with friends and family; cake and mac-n-cheese; a bounce house and cotton candy machine; Hoffman's; Hair of the Dog; and lots of cheer. 

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

USA Finishes 2nd

                                       


All of the hard work, perseverance, and an entire country rooting for them and it all came down to PKs...

For all of you soccer fans out there, you know that a penalty kick is like a free throw in basketball:  free points.  A penalty kick is awarded when a defender takes down an opposing player who was about to score a goal. The player is awarded a free kick ten yards from a stationary goalie.  It is a given that the penalty kick will go in.  The referee has helped to even out the score.  But just like the NBA players who shoot less than 80% from the free throw line, there is no guarantee.

At the professional level there really is no excuse for not making the shot.  It is something that every soccer player has practiced since they were playing U10.  Take 3 steps, keep your head down, aim for the side of the net. 

The goalie is at a severe disadvantage during a penalty kick and often has to guess which way the ball will go before it leaves the shooter's foot.  Guess correct and you are a hero.  Guess wrong and the kick goes the way it was intended.  The goalie is never to blame for missing the ball; the blame lies with the defender that originally committed the foal.

The US missed its first 2 shots; one rather predictably because Shannon Boxx always goes right.  The other sailed high over the cross bar, a result of Carlie Lloyd's dead legs.  Abby Wambach did manage to get one into the net but it was too late.  The Japanese were victorious.

It never should have come down to the uncertainty of PKs.  The US had too many chances in the first half and committed 2 costly defensive errors in the second.  But that doesn't lessen the disappointment that we all feel.

The country cheered with you and we hang our heads with you.  But... We are still behind you!  You are still our team!  USA in 2015!!

Casey Anthony Released

Casey Anthony is scheduled to be released from prison today.  Her lawyer has recommended that she be whisked off under cover of darkness to an undisclosed location.  There she will be surrounded by body guards because she has received numerous death threats and emails predicting her untimely death.

Too bad she can't just go home and pretend that none of this happened.  Kind of like she did for the month she didn't report her missing toddler.  The month she spent partying, getting tattoos, and living the single life that any new mom has accepted is over.

But how do you go home to the place where your poor innocent child drowned in your family's pool?  How do you go home to the place where your father lives?  A place where according to you, he helped you cover up your daughter's death?  A place where your car is probably still parked and the smell of rotting flesh still permeates your trunk?  The place where your father supposedly abused you and caused you to act so selfishly?  How do you, in essence, return to the scene of the crime?

She can't.  Casey can't go back there because she would be forced to address all of her lies and get her story straight.  She would have to face the parents that for some reason stood by her during her incarceration.  She would have to face the media frenzy that is sure to descend upon her childhood home; interviewing people who had known her when; endlessly speculating on what comes next.  People are sure to come out of the woodwork with stories of Casey's indiscretions.  Why would she want to face that when she doesn't have to?

Instead she gets to waste more tax payer money on protection from unknown enemies and work on her book while enjoying the Florida summer.  Seems like a pretty obvious choice, for someone like Casey.

Many years ago another sensational murder trial gripped our nation.  A beautiful blond from California and her handsome young "friend" where killed in her Brentwood mansion.  A former football star drove his white Bronco around LA while the nation watched in bizarre fascination.  He too was found innocent.  The public was outraged.  And then we all moved on.

Nobody ever killed OJ and he was much more interesting, so lets just let this miscarriage of justice fade from our memory too.  And hopefully like OJ she will end up exactly where she belongs, eventually.