Sunday, April 10, 2011

Bikini Days of Old

Hi Friends!  I have been away for awhile preoccupied with the utter chaos that has enveloped my school.  The last two weeks have been a horrifying nightmare,  but I am getting ready to leave for a week's vacation at the beach.  So I had to drag myself from my sorrows and get my act together.  And you know what that means... Bathing Suit Shopping.  YIKES!!!!

As all of you moms out there know, and tried to tell me, my old body is gone and what I have been left with is somewhat unrecognizable to me.  Yes, carrying my bundle of joy did help me to purge all of my odd numbered clothing (bye, bye Juniors section...), forced me to donate all of my cute but uncomfortable shoes (no sense in having a swollen body and feet), and did make me stop the late night Bob's Diner fixes (oh, how I miss you fries with gravy). 

Lately I have been able to get back into most of my clothes and belts (thanks boot camp!).  But I didn't dare even try on my old two-piecers.  I packed up my husband and daughter and went to Macy's in search of, say it with me, A TANKINI.  Good lord, I have suddenly become my mother.

Well, let me remind all of you out there that design swim wear, jeans, undergarments, shirts, skirts, socks, and everything else that women buy, the mannequin is not life sized.  It is not new mom sized.  And it most certainly is not average American sized.  The one and two pieced suits looked amazing on her and her alabaster skin.  Not so much on my semi-tanned hide. 

After about 10 changes I did settle on two suits:  one tankini (why am I having so much trouble saying that word?) and one 2-piece with a matching cover up that will reveal my nicely curving upper rib cage (sort of).  And to make myself feel better, I bought a cute dress and a few other necessities that do not show my midsection.  We left the mall an hour or so later with my husband and child munching on Auntie Anne's pretzels and with my self esteem dragging pitifully behind us. 

It was at that point that an unfortunate conclusion  became painfully obvious to me:  I am pretty sure that my bikini days are behind me.  Next stop:  the swim dress...

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