Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween!

It's Halloween Friends and like a full moon there are always some things that you just have to scratch your head about:

1.  One of my 5th graders is going to a costume party as Casey Anthony...
2.  People who have all of their lights on and cars in their driveway don't answer the door...
3.  People who have no lights on and no car do...
4.  Daisy Duke was a hot unfortunate costume for plus-sized middle schoolers...
5.  McDonald's in Vliet ran out of burgers and the drive-thru was still a 25 minute wait...

Hope you enjoyed it!

Now go and check your child's candy for razor blades, Kit Kat and Twix bars.  Funny how parents never have to make sure that the Smarties and gummy sandwiches are safe!


Sunday, October 30, 2011

One Fish, Two Fish


It's seems our (not) friends at the fish markets down state have been passing along less than acceptable fish to their patrons.  In a sting operation aimed to net (pun intended) disreputable vendons, researchers discovered that some of the more expensive brands are not as high quality as they should be.  Or are not even the species that they purport to be.  That red snapper that you overpaid for might actually be talapia.  And the albacore tuna perfectly seared on your plate might actually have been caught in the Hudson.  Well... let's hope not!

But not to worry:  the ground beef, chicken breasts, and the turkey and vegetables roasting in your Sunday oven still contain all of the growth hormones and irradiation that they have always claimed.  Bon Appetit!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Reselling Your Wedding (dress)

There is a commentary in this morning's paper from a blogger who was recently married.  There is a beautiful picture of her wedding dress hanging demurely on a mannequin and then hugging her own curves nicely.  One might think that the article is about finding the perfect dress, exquisite tailoring, or dream weddings.  Nope... it is about selling your wedding dress.  Emphasis on the words YOUR.

I kind of thought that I was odd because I picked out my dress before I even entertained the idea of being married.  I was tanning one afternoon and happened to pick up a magazine while waiting for my sister to finish her session.  Anyone who knows my sister understands I had mere seconds before she emerged from the booth pale and happy with SPF 50 in her hands.

Anyway, I came across this advertisement with a porcelain faced blond in a white and purple dress.  It was simple but so different from anything I had ever seen before.  No beads, no long train, full but not prommy.  It was me, even down to the tiny roses the framed the bust line.  Without thinking, I tore the page from the magazine and hid it away in my underwear drawer for safe keeping.

When I got engaged two years ago, I pulled out the picture.  Not surprisingly the dress was no longer in stock and the store that was advertising it was no longer in business.  But I was determined to wear it.  And I did with the help of an amazing dress maker.

So the thought of selling my dress today boggles my mind.  I haven't even had it cleaned because I don't want to wash away all of those memories from one of the best days of my life.  

In the commentary I was reading, she mentioned that she too thought about her dress before she met her future husband (romantic).  But unlike me, she actually purchased it (weird).  She purchased it for 30% off (smart) hoping at the time of purchase to resell it for 20% more than what she paid (what).  She called it a "use now" purchase.  And she is ready to sell after having been married for only two months.  Wonder when she will be ready to trade in her "use now" husband?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Kanya West is the 1%

Every evening on the news you see more and more Wall Street protesters marching for equality in taxes, jobs, and life.  Many are young people who are out of work and fed up with the political gibberish that promises to help them.  They have babies strapped to their chests, drums banging in their hands, and sometimes zip ties across their wrists.  They have a message that is quickly spreading across the country and around the world.  And it's an important one.

This week the "99%" as they are known marched through some posh neighborhoods in Manhattan and paid Donald Trump and the like a visit.  Strangely, they were joined by Kanya West.  Who I'm sure was sporting a Tag Heur watch, designer duds, and a diamond in his ear.  Jewelry whose value could probably help feed an out of work family for a year.  Not quite the message that should be spread. 

Please Kanya, don't act like you are one of us, because you are not.  Living paycheck to paycheck and struggling to go on vacation every year is not your life.  Let's be honest, your whole life is a vacation.  Do us 99% a favor and stick to insulting your own celebrity kind.  Let us handle the politicians.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Haircut House call

As we speak my husband and brother are having their hair cut professionally in my kitchen.  Their stylists barbers hair cutters bring all of their supplies in rather large backpacks, plug in their clippers and go to work.  They have been coming since the summer when they abruptly quit their barber shop.  Seems there was a rather loud disagreement with the owner.  They grabbed their stuff and their customers and are now making house calls.

At first, I thought what a joy it would be for my stylist to visit my home.  No battling traffic, no waiting in the lounge because she is running late, no getting out of my pjs.  But then I remembered that my cuts also involve a color, a shampoo, and a two hour time block.  Suddenly my kitchen sink and bar stool are not so inviting.

But hats off to the ladies for making the most of their situation.  $20 for about 15 minutes of their time.  And they don't even have to get out of their pjs. But they should...

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Hope Solo in the Bottom Two?

Thanks people, you have done it again.  You have let your political views cloud your good judgement.  Though not a fan, Kristin Cavalleri did not deserve to go home last night.  And Hope and Max in the bottom two?  Maybe their outfits, but certainly not their dancing!

Nancy Grace is about as graceful as a sea lion waddling up the beach.  Not only does she not have any musicality, her poor partner cannot reach his arms around her waist.  So it always looks like he is dancing with a carnival prize.  And if I have to look at Chaz Bono's armpits one more time I may jump on the bandwagon and start ordering my daughter chemically treated apples with her Happy Meal.  Don't you remember when Marie Osmond fainted on the stage?  Chaz has a real chance of being DWTS first fatality.  Put him out of his misery!

Make your political statements in a letter to the editor, at the voting booth, or from the nearest bar stool.  Stop wasting your votes on people that I am embarrassed to watch dance.